just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish I only lived at night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
third nipple confirmed
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
