I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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