i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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