dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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