community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
