dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
