I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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