absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
