Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
