If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
