think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
