new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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