My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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