how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
