I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize