Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
