There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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