I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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