Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize