How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
