I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
