I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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