What a fucking waste of an outfit
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
