Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
