Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
