I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
