ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
