tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
