no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
