if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
