Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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