happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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