Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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