he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
