you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize