I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize