Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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