You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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