i was born a porn star she said
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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