Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
