Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
