She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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