is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
