Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
