Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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