we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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