Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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