At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
