Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
