I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
