You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
