im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
