therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
