I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
