Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
