i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
