You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
