when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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