Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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