ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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