new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
