Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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